


engaging in roguery

by vampkomori



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24704425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampkomori/pseuds/vampkomori
Summary: “You’re gonna do what.”“Break into the Holy Artifact Room. I know you heard me the first time, Herms.”
Relationships: Urd & Hermod (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	engaging in roguery

Class had ended roughly 10 minutes ago, but the merry band of friends were still lounging in the classroom, with the exception of Eraqus, Bragi, and Xehanort. The latter two were murmuring something about “an experiment” earlier and once Eraqus had caught wind of their… probably less than savoury plans, he hurried after them. He will almost definitely not be able to stop them and just get roped into whatever they’re doing again, but... Well, no, that’s definitely what’s gonna happen.

Urd was sitting on the window sill playing with the chess set the others had left behind, poking the King’s (?) crown, like the sharp ends didn’t look like they were totally gonna hurt. Withdrawing her finger with a hiss had drawn the attention of Hermod—who had already begun doing his homework, you know, like a total nerd. Cool kids forget about their Homework until about an hour before class, and then copy it from Eraqus. He’s like the safest bet to copy your Homework from, because he folds the second you say “please”. Xehanort’s always a jerk about it and won’t let you. Hermod goes on another lecture on the “importance of diligence” until the master interrupts him to start class. Bragi never does their homework. Vor usually forgets to do it too, but only because she was either too busy raiding the entire library of its books on Magic or because she and Bragi were too caught up in one of their bets again. 

Regardless, not even Xehanort would start his homework the second it was assigned. 

“What’re you up to, Urd?” Herms asked, standing right next to her because she was too absorbed in thinking about what a nerd he was to notice him moving. 

“Oh, you know.” She flicks the King’s piece over in retaliation and it topples over with a small clink.

Hermod has the audacity to chuckle at her. “Informative as always.”

“I’m breaking into the Holy Artifact Room later,” she says, like it’s the most casual thing to be doing after class.

He stops laughing. “You’re gonna do what.”

“Break into the Holy Artifact Room. I know you heard me the first time, Herms.” She picks up the fallen King and pokes Hermod with it. 

“Ow! No, I heard you, I mean why? And- and how? Do you know how much trouble you’d get into if you got caught?” He rambles, getting increasingly more rattled as he goes on. 

He gently slapped her hand away when she poked him—rude, for the record. Her grip on the chess piece wasn’t exactly strong, so it falls to the ground and the soft thud on the marble floor echoes in the room and draws the attention of Vor, who had been writing something down in her notebook. 

Vor looked like she was about to say something, but a sudden realization dawned on her face and she quickly gathered her things and ran out of the classroom with a short “See you later!”.

That just leaves the two of them, and she’s not gonna be held up by Hermod berating her for doing a little crime. 

“I’m not gonna get caught.” Seriously, does he even know her? She just wants to take a small look. Or a big look. It’s not like people are actually allowed into the Holy Artifact Room, so there’s no one to catch her if she were to stay for a bit per se. 

He didn’t like that explanation apparently because he grabs her wrist and makes her hand poke her chest. “You say that every time!”

Whatever. She just won’t let him look at the priceless ancient artifact she’s gonna borrow later if he’s gonna be like that. “Have I ever been wrong though?”

Hah, got ‘em. His shoulders slump in defeat as he releases her wrist. “Well… no, but…” he starts, probably trying to think of any time where she was caught in the act. It’s clear he’s lost this battle, just like he’s lost every other battle with her. He never learns. 

She hops down the window sill and makes her way to the door. “See ya then,” she says while turning to him and making finger guns. Only slightly rubbing it in. 

Just as she was about to go out into the hall, she’s suddenly pulled back into the classroom again. “Wait, hold on. You can’t just- At least,“ he stumbles around his words. “Take me with you?”

“What.” Yeah, actually, what. This isn’t a mission for two, this is pure stealth. If anything, him coming along increases the chances of getting caught. It would throw her off her groove—accounting for another person while trying to be as quiet as possible, especially when the other doesn’t know how to be quiet is a bad idea! But, of course, instead of saying any of that she just says, “Fuck off”.

Alright, he’s actually pulling on her sleeve now. “Please. I’ll be quieter than anyone has ever been before. Let me come along?”  
Ugh. Why does he have to be so nice about it, how can anyone say no to that. “Fine, but if you make any noise, I’m leaving you to face the hounds alone.”

“You know I don’t think it’s nice to call the watchmen hounds,” he replies, but his jovial and excited tone implies that he doesn’t care about what she calls them whatsoever. He’s such a puppy, he’s already rocking on his heels. This is gonna go south so badly.

\---

“Dude, what’s taking you so long?” After standing in front of his dorm room for nearly 10 minutes, she has had it. The fact that Bragi hasn’t woken up yet is nothing short of a miracle, even if they sleep like a rock. Honestly, she would’ve been in and out of the Artifact Room by now and even have time to spare. Those priceless, ancient artifacts are just waiting for her to come and borrow them indefinitely. You’re keeping us apart, Herms. You and your terrible preparation skills. 

“I almost got it!” he anything but whispers. 

Urd tries to make sure her frustrated groan is loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough so as to not wake up Bragi. What is he even doing? He doesn’t need to take anything with him? God, unless he’s…

“Don’t tell me you’re changing.”

The incessant shuffling comes to an abrupt halt and Urd guesses that he’s trying to think of a believable lie. But let’s be real, Hermod can’t lie to save his life. “N… no?” he mutters, like he didn’t just spend the last 15 minutes trying to get his pants on. 

He could come along in his pajamas for all she cared. She has a plan and she’s sticking to it. “I’m leaving.”

“No- wait, I’m coming,” he says defeatedly, finally stepping out of his room and quietly closing the door behind him. 

She’s gotta hand it to him, she didn’t actually expect him to wear pants, much less shoes. You can really tell he was interrupted mid-change though, because he doesn’t have his coat on, and he’s never seen without that thing. Why he’d want to wear more layers, and thus more noise-makers, on a stealth mission of all things is beyond her. She was wearing her Sneaking Clothes herself, which unfortunately meant discarding her comfy loose pants and coat. A terrible, but necessary sacrifice for silence.

Motioning Hermod to follow her, they left the dormitories and hid behind one of the nearby pillars. The Holy Artifact Room was on the far end of the Academy’s left wing, which meant crossing the courtyard—by far the hardest part of their mission—going through the hallways unnoticed, and then scaling the outer wall of the Artifact Room. The last part would probably have been the most difficult, but Urd checked out the place often enough to know which parts are safe to hold onto. Hermod might have more difficulty with it, but she took a rope with her, so they’ll be fine. The drop is pretty steep, which is why she made sure to learn Zero Gravira just in case. And, well, if that doesn’t work, she recently learned how to cast Stopga too, because it’s always fun to freeze someone in time.

“What are you looking for?” Hermod whispers to her, because they’ve been standing there for the past 5 minutes and haven't moved an inch. 

Urd wishes he could read her mind, because telling him that she’s waiting for a certain watchman to pass the upper halls takes so many words. Instead, she just tells him to shut up. Same thing. 

He just looks like a kicked puppy now. This guy can’t take any hits. Just—gotta be patient. Moving unnoticed can’t be rushed. Also his frown is incredibly distracting, she doesn’t have time to feel bad. 

There it is—she can see the watchman’s lantern glow softly, lightly swinging. Just gotta wait for him to pass… and… it’s go time. 

Urd grabs her friend’s arm and quickly dashes towards the next pillar. She takes another look at the upper level and then runs along the edges of the courtyard. Hermod actually beats her to the other side, because that beanstalk has longer legs than her. An insult to her pride, so she vows to trip him next time they race. 

“Alright!” he exclaims loudly, before realizing he’s supposed to be quiet and shoots Urd an apologetic look. “What’s next?”

She glares at him for good measure. “Reach the Artifact Room without getting caught.” It's just a matter of not running into any watchmen on the way and not making any noise. Easy for her, jury's still out on Herms. 

“So we just… walk there?” he asks, visibly disappointed. 

“We’re committing crimes, Herms. We don’t have time to look cool.” Well, they can look a little cool. Walking alongside the walls even when it’s clear, and making incomprehensible hand motions at one another has never hurt anybody. 

He grins sheepishly and scratches at his cheek. “I’m trying very hard to forget about the ‘crimes’ part.”

Unbelievable. He’s still hung up on that? “Let’s just go.”

Reaching the entrance of the main building was easier than she thought it’d be, but it did take longer than expected. Mostly because Hermod kept asking her questions, and getting increasingly more distressed with each answer he got. ‘Why do you know all the watchmen’s routes by heart?’ ‘How often have you done this without anyone knowing?’ ‘What do you mean you lost count?’ 

He even made her promise that this is the last time she goes sneaking around after curfew. Whatever, she just won’t tell him about it next time. He sucks as a partner in crime. Although, it’s been nice to have someone come along, even if he’s a pain. Maybe she’ll ask Bragi next time. 

“So, um, how do we get through the gate?” Hermod wonders, willfully ignorant of the fact that he’s working with a professional. 

Not wanting to be subjected to his lectures again, Urd wordlessly moves along the hedges until they reach what looks to be a back door. 

“Is this—”

“The watchmen’s quarters? Yep,” she says, obnoxiously poppin’ the “P” loud enough for him to hear. 

He doesn’t seem to catch it. “Talk about irony…”

Eyeing the door warily, he continues, “Do we pick the lock, or—”

Urd interrupts him by summoning her keyblade. “We use this, Herms.” 

“Right. I- I knew that, right.”

One could ask why the Great Masters didn’t invest in better lock mechanics, like using magic, but one look at how much of their budget goes towards the yearly Pugna ad caelum tournament, and one realizes that locks are the least of their concerns. Besides, their lack of foresight benefits her, and if they want to get robbed by her or anyone else, that’s their problem. 

The watchmen’s quarters are unsurprisingly empty, as they are most of the time. Technically this is a major hole in security, but they probably thought that any potential thieves wouldn’t consider entering through the lion’s mouth. They severely underestimated people’s desire to steal things and the lengths at which they would go for them. Borrow things. Whatever. 

Moving through the halls and back into the foyer proves to be relatively easy, since almost all the watchmen are stationed outside. Probably didn’t think they’d have to worry about one of their own engaging in unlawful entry. 

Just as they’re reaching the upper levels, Hermod stops in the middle of the staircase and looks up at the giant painting before them. “You know, now that I look at it, I do see the resemblance.”

“I mean, I guess it’s the hair?”

“That too, but I was thinking about the eyes.”

Well, now that she’s looking at it, the eyes are kind of similar. Not that Eraqus would agree, of course. Despite the many, many advantages of being related to one of the First Masters, he would really rather not be. He never says why, but Urd thinks it might have to do with Xehanort. She may not know any details, but seeing as how the two spend a lot of time with each other—just each other—she guesses it might be related to that. Not that it’s any of her business, though. She just has eyes and ears everywhere. 

After reaching the upper level, they make their way towards the left wing, making sure not to run into any watchmen that could cut their little adventure short. They had fared pretty well so far, but Urd wasn’t about to jinx it. 

Just as they were about to turn the last corner, Hermod sneezes. Urd only barely manages to slam her hand against his mouth, but they had already grabbed the attention of the nearby watchman. 

“Who goes there?!”

Fuck. Alright, she can fix this. There aren’t any conveniently placed doors nearby and the hallways are annoyingly long so that if they ran now, they’d be spotted regardless. She could try to cast Zero Gravira on them and stick to the ceiling until the watchman passes? Distract him by throwing one of her sand weights at him and run for it? God, why aren’t there any Invisibility spells? 

While Urd was trying to figure something out, Hermod quietly removed her hand from his mouth and desperately looked for a way out. There wasn’t, so without thinking he summoned his keyblade and cast Sleep on the watchman who just turned their corner.

Urd stared at the now sleeping watchman, then looked at Hermod, and without skipping a beat she took his arm and ran towards the Artifact Room. 

Stopping just before a large door with intricate designs carved into it, she grabs the rope from her belt and secures it to her harness before doing the same to Hermod. She has no idea how long the spell is going to last, so once she’s made sure that their rope is fastened, she carefully climbs out of the window.

Hermod was still coming to terms with the fact that he just cast Sleep on a watchman, so once he sees Urd trying to climb out of a window, he seriously considers just turning himself in. It’s been fun, but he doesn’t think that he could handle any more of this. He’s at his limit. 

She tucks at the rope to grab his attention, shooting him a glare that meant if you don’t follow me out of this window right now, there’s gonna be problems. Not one to go against one of Urd’s glares, he unenthusiastically goes after her. 

The climb isn’t particularly difficult as long as they know where to hold onto. Urd made sure to have backup plans in case things went south, so now she just has to make sure Hermod grabs the same places that she did so that she doesn’t have to resort to said plans. The run-in with the watchman left him pretty unnerved, so he’s paying less attention than usual. Probably thinking about how this was a terrible idea and that he could be in bed right now. Sucks for him, but it’s not like she invited him. 

After they finally reach the roof, both of them sit on the ground and just stare out at the city for a bit. This isn’t the highest point of Scala ad Caelum—the clocktower is, probably—but the view still spans across the majority of the city. It’s honestly kind of beautiful, but Urd just wants to get her hands on some artifacts already, so she gets up and walks over to the secret hatch. She can admire the cityscape some other time.

Her companion didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, because he’s still staring out into the city, the lights from some of the buildings almost looking like giant fireflies. He has a content smile on his face, so she doesn’t have the heart to interrupt him. Instead, she opens the hatch and hops down into the Holy Artifact Room by herself. He can follow in after if he wants—or not, he would probably tell her not to steal anything. She’s gonna borrow some Artifacts, thank you very much. Try them out, show off how cool they are to her friends, then return them again. Using them long-term isn’t a good idea since the masters would probably catch wind of it sooner or later, because there’s always a snitch, isn’t there. 

The Artifact Room is pitch-dark, so making sure not to land on a priceless, ancient heirloom is more difficult than anticipated. Once she’s made sure that she’s not about to shatter a thousand year old divine vase, she summons her keyblade again. She actually wants to see what kind of artifacts are in here, so she casts Spark, and a tiny ring of glowing crystals appears around her. 

At a first glance, the majority of items in this room seem to be old keyblades. There’s little name plaques on their pedestals—probably the keyblade’s name? The one next to her looks eerily similar to their master’s keyblade, although it's tinted more orange-ish. The keyblade to her right is apparently called ‘Starlight’, and it looks to be some sort of prototype for their own training-keyblades?

Suddenly, one of the light crystals reflects something from the corner of her eye. It seems to be on a higher pedestal than the others, with a big plaque that says ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ on it. Well, now she kinda wants to touch it. It’s just a star-shaped crystal, there’s no harm in touching it, plaque be damned.

Just as Urd was about to pocket the shiny thing, Hermod jumps down from the hatch and lands with a loud thud. She directs one of her light crystals towards him and sees that he’s lying on the floor, groaning in pain. 

“You good?”

He pushes himself off the floor. “No,” he whispers, “I didn’t fall on anything, did I?”

She shakes her head and then turns her attention back to the shiny thing. It’s really pretty. Imagine how many girls she could impress with that thing. ‘Oh my gosh, Urd, tell me more about this pretty shiny thing,’ they’ll say. ‘Well, you see, it’s pretty and shiny just like your smile,’ she’ll say in response. Man, she needs that thing so bad. 

This time, however, she’s interrupted by the front door of the Artifact Room opening. What the hell? Is there some kind of maintenance check she doesn’t know about? This is not good. Being caught breaking curfew was bad already, but being caught inside the Holy Artifact Room? Yeah, they’re going to need to hide immediately. 

Grabbing Hermod and ducking behind one of the keyblade armor stands, Urd peeks through an opening to take a look at the other trespasser. Where are they? The door couldn’t have just opened on its own, it needs like… a weird… magic password to open. She’s tried ‘Open Sesame’ before and it didn’t work, so it could be in another language for all she knew. Not worth the effort when she could just pop in through the secret hatch.

Still no sign of the trespasser, but she’s not about to risk it, so she stays put. Hermod, instead, decides that it’s the perfect time to look around apparently. He seems to be walking towards the bookshelves, all the while trying to be quiet and hiding behind some of the keyblade armor just in case. Urd has no idea what he’s thinking, so she follows after him in case she needs to do some damage control.

In front of the bookshelves seem to be cases of glass with pieces of jewelry sitting inside. Pretty, shiny necklaces—probably ruby or some other gemstone—and very likely to be enchanted with some kind of magic. 

Oh, she wants them so bad. 

While Urd is distracted by the jewelry, Hermod tries to get a better look at the area in front of the bookshelves in general. He hadn’t seen the trespasser, but he had heard their footsteps go towards the bookshelves, and, since he’s kind of curious as to who could possibly have entered the Artifact Room from the front door, he went to check it out. 

He tries to get closer without leaving the safety of the keyblade armor hideout when he catches a glimpse of a violet coat. 

“Vor?!”

The little girl in the violet coat drops the book she was holding and shrieks—clearly not having expected to run into anyone. Hermod didn’t expect the loud noise, so he bumps into the keyblade armor with a yelp. The rattling of the metal—and the yelling—tears Urd out of her reverie, losing her balance and falling onto the floor. 

“What are you doing here?!” Hermod loudly whispers at the girl in front of him. 

Picking up her fallen book, she replies in a hushed voice, “What are you doing here, Hermie?!” 

“I asked you first!”

“Asked you second!”

Urd slowly pulls herself back up from the floor and turns to where all the commotion started. She stares at Vor, then at Hermod, then back at the jewelry and closes her eyes. “I’m tired.”

The girl smiles happily at her. “Hiya, Urd! What are you doing here?”

She bites the inside of her cheek, clearly unhappy with the situation. “Doing crimes. What are you doing here, young lady?”

“Also doing crimes,” she replies cheerily. 

Hermod looks at her with an inconsolable expression, mouth agape. This isn’t the first time Urd has run into her on one of her escapades, but it seems he didn’t know of Vor’s nightly exploits whatsoever. Well, maybe it’s better that way. He did always coddle her, calling her ‘too innocent for this world’. Dude needed a reality check one of these days, might as well be now. 

Moving to close his mouth, she goes on, “How did you get in here?”

“Through the door.”

“Try again.”

“Opened it with a spell.”

Yeah, she figured that was the case. “And you know that spell how?”

Vor grins sheepishly at this. “Secret.”

Alright, keep your secrets, you little devil. She doesn’t need to know how she came by the knowledge of an ancient unlocking spell. Probably read it in one of her books or something. 

Their tall friend seems to be dissatisfied by this answer, frowning, and then leaning his forehead against the bookcase. “Can we go home?”

The two girls look at one another and nod. This little adventure has run its course, even if they didn’t get to actually take anything. There’s always next time.

As they’re leaving through the front door of the Holy Artifact Room, Vor turns to Hermod and asks, “Where’s your coat?”

He leans into Urd’s shoulder and whines.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont CARE if they reveal their personalities later and this will be outdated and ooc, i want FRIENDSHIP and CRIMES


End file.
